Moving and making a home in Hershey, Pa. is making me feel a little stir crazy. I feel like I don't belong here. I haven't really made any friends. I go to school online. Most people around here are families.
I'm trying to make an active effort to write my thoughts down somewhere before my head is going to actually explode. In some ways this journal will be raw and random. In others, I hope it helps me make sense of things.
Okay, so in recent events.
I feel really bad. This girl at my work has recently gotten pregnant. She, Tiffany, was talking about how she makes too much money with her husband but childcare is too expensive. Another girl asked how much it was and she responded about ten thousand dollars a year. I don't know why I did this but word vomit just came out, "OH ONLY THAT MUCH?" Eff my life, I felt so bad. Now whenever I see her I just think about that comment and how that must have made her feel. WHY DO I DO SAY THOSE KINDS OF THINGS?! Ten thousand dollars is really a lot. I guess in my head I thought taking care of a child would be more. I still feel really bad for making that comment. WHY DONT I THINK WHEN I SPEAK!?! I feel like I should rectify the situation but then there really not much I can say to make her feel better about the waitressing life she chose. She has no career aspirations, is pregnant, and is trying to make do.
